Why You Work 12 Hours a Day and Still Feel Dissatisfied with Yourself (And How to Regain Your Energy)

You meet the most challenging KPIs, lead the company out of crisis, receive your annual bonus — yet inside there is a ringing emptiness. And an obsessive thought: “I could have done better. I fell short somewhere.”

In the corporate environment, this is called the “perpetual deficit syndrome.” Our brains are trained to notice only what hasn’t been done. We operate like scanners of our own mistakes. And up to 80% of our life energy goes into servicing this inner critic. We try to drive with the handbrake on while pressing the gas pedal.

Recently, Veronika, Marketing Director of a large federal corporation, reached out to me. A classic request: complete exhaustion, apathy, a desire to quit everything despite a brilliant career.

When we began analyzing the architecture of her condition, I suggested a basic tool — to start keeping a daily self-worth journal: writing down three points each day answering the question, “Where am I absolutely OK today?”

Her reaction was predictably skeptical.

“Lyudmila,” she smirked, “I manage marketing budgets worth billions of rubles. I know absolutely everything about myself. What journal? That’s esotericism for girls on maternity leave, and I have a board meeting in an hour. I need solid tools, not head pats.”

“Veronika,” I replied calmly, “I know exactly what I’m talking about. And I’m not offering you esotericism — I’m offering you a way to quantify your psychological assets.”

You brilliantly calculate ROI for the company. But your personal ROI is now deeply negative. Let’s conduct an audit: for just five days, write down what you can thank yourself for. Not for moving mountains. Just for not forgetting to drink a glass of water on time or allowing yourself not to reply to an ‘urgent’ late-night email.

Veronika agreed for the sake of the experiment. A week later, she sent me a voice message, and her tone already sounded different.

“Lyudmila Lykova, this is some kind of magic,” Veronika said. “I started writing, and on the third day I realized something scary. If I can put it this way, I work like a machine for devaluing myself!”

Yesterday at the office we launched a highly complex project a month ahead of schedule. And instead of praising myself, do you know what I was thinking about in the evening? That I forgot to buy dog food and didn’t have time to review one layout!

I ignored 95% of my success and focused on 5% of failures. As soon as I started praising myself for small things — my jaw literally unclenched. For the first time in a year, I slept well.

This isn’t magic; it’s pure neurobiology. When we operate in a mode of hyper-control and self-criticism, our bodies constantly produce cortisol — the stress hormone. The body thinks we are at war. What kind of energy can there be?

But as soon as you shift your focus and tell yourself, “I did well today. I’m OK today,” your psyche receives a signal of safety. You take off the invisible corporate armor.

Business is built by people. And the most effective decisions are made not from the state of a driven workhorse, but from a state of calm and self-worth. If you feel that your efforts are increasing while your joy is decreasing — buy yourself a beautiful tactile notebook. Put it on your bedside table. And every evening, find three reasons to say thank you to yourself.

Take it from a former financial analyst: this is the highest-margin investment in your career that you can make today.