Two Extremes of Self-Sabotage – How Self-Blocking and Overconfidence Harm Us

Self-blocking beliefs are internal prohibitions the brain uses to try to protect us from potential stress. Many people fear failure — judgment from others, loss of resources and opportunities. Success can also be frightening, as it brings greater responsibility and the need to “keep up the standard.” In general, any step outside the comfort zone into the unknown seems risky and dangerous to our brain. Giving in to this paralyzing fear and limiting beliefs, a person begins to subconsciously sabotage their own goals and actions.

You should address your self-blocks if:

– you repeatedly look for reasons not to start something at all, telling yourself: “I won’t be able to do it anyway,” “It won’t work”;

– you constantly procrastinate, postponing important tasks and justifying it with a lack of time, energy, or resources;

– you find it very difficult to finish or even show your work to someone because it is “not perfect yet”;

– you feel like an “impostor” — thinking you don’t deserve success and that all your achievements are just coincidences.

How to deal with self-blocking beliefs:

– Learn to recognize them — notice thoughts like “It’s too difficult,” “I’m not cut out for this,” “It won’t work.” Awareness of the block alone can help weaken it.

– Analyze the origins of your blocks — ask yourself where these thoughts come from: your childhood, negative experiences, someone else’s influence? Understand what the block is protecting you from — fear of failure, judgment, pain, guilt? This will help you assess how realistic your fears actually are.

– Check the objectivity of your blocking beliefs. If you catch yourself thinking “I can’t handle it,” honestly list all the facts that support and contradict this thought, and you may discover that you are underestimating and frightening yourself for no reason.

– Find counterbalances — complement destructive thoughts with constructive ones using the “But…” method. “I won’t be able to deliver this presentation convincingly in public — but I can turn it into an excellent article.”

– Keep an achievement journal — regularly write down all your successes, even small ones, so you focus not on your mistakes and failures but on real accomplishments, strengthening your self-confidence.

– Move in small steps. Overcoming a serious block can be very difficult. Break large, intimidating tasks into smaller ones — not “learn English perfectly,” but “open and read the first lesson.” Successfully completing each step will increase your confidence and weaken the blocks.

– Write out the “worst-case scenario” and a rescue plan. If you fear failure, ask yourself what the worst possible outcome could be. Usually, you’ll find that the consequences are not critical, and you can prepare some kind of backup plan in case things don’t work out.

– Release physical tension. Blocks often manifest as muscle tension. To cope with it, use relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, meditation, and, of course, don’t neglect physical activity.

It is also important to remember that overestimating your abilities is just as dangerous as underestimating them.

Excessive overconfidence is a cognitive distortion — a tendency to underestimate risks and overestimate one’s knowledge, skills, and abilities. This approach can blind you, hinder learning and adaptation, and sometimes lead to unjustified risks and serious mistakes, missed deadlines, damaged relationships, loss of reputation and money, and even physical injuries.

You may be overly self-confident if:

– you completely ignore risks, fail to consider the possibility of failure, and do not prepare backup plans;

– you spend little time preparing, gathering, and analyzing data, relying only on past experience or “gut feelings”;

– you disregard others’ advice, even from experts and experienced colleagues, assuming by default that you know better than anyone else;

– you believe you can fully control external factors — other people’s actions, market fluctuations, etc.;

– you blame failures not on your own miscalculations but solely on other people and circumstances.

How to curb excessive overconfidence:

– Develop critical thinking and, before acting, consider not only the arguments “for” but also the arguments “against” your idea.

– Take on only realistic commitments, and try to objectively assess your abilities, time, and resources so your overconfidence does not let you or your partners down.

– Align your expectations with reality. Write down your projected timelines and expected results in advance. After completing the task, compare the outcome with your forecast. This is an excellent way to learn to view your abilities objectively.

– Value feedback — constructive criticism from trustworthy people can highlight issues you may have missed and improve the outcome of your work.

– Don’t compare yourself to others, and don’t try to completely replicate someone else’s success, because everyone – has their own abilities and resources, their own path of development.

– Learn to acknowledge and accept your limitations and mistakes — this is not weakness but an essential skill of a mature person that helps you benefit from your experience.

Whether you tend to underestimate or overestimate yourself, remember that although perfection is unattainable, it is important to work on yourself step by step — analyzing your thoughts and actions, gradually and gently changing your mindset and behavior, and drawing useful conclusions from mistakes. Recognizing that failures are a normal part of life will help you feel more confident and calm.

Try to surround yourself with people who believe in you and provide constructive feedback. And be sure to seek professional help if your internal blocks or overconfident beliefs are very persistent and prevent you from trying new things and changing, taking responsibility and keeping promises, growing and being happy.